Personal Development Plan

Personal Improvement, Research & Reports

Here you will learn why it is so useful to follow a personal development plan (PDP). You will also study three guidelines that illustrate a general personal development plan template.  Once you’ve assimilated the information in this section, you will be able to move on to additional articles in the series that provide examples of personal development plans for specific life changes.

Mohandas Gandhi, the still-influential Indian leader who devoted his life to the achievement of peace and fulfillment, had this to say:

Your beliefs become your values
            Your values become your thoughts
            Your thoughts become your words
            Your words become your actions
            Your actions become your habits
            Your habits become your destiny…

                                                –Mahatma Mohandas Gandhi, 1869-1948

By reading through that sequence, you can understand that your innermost beliefs have a tremendous formative impact on the values and thoughts that externalize to in the form of your actions: what you do in and with your life.  As those actions become habitual, you are taking control of your ultimate destiny in life.

At first, that might sound a little disconnected from compared with your everyday activities and goals, but apply it to something that affects people every day -smoking.  If you really believe that smoking is harmless or that you will live forever, then you will never stop smoking!

But, if you had someone close who suffered an early death because of smoking, or after you experience the birth of your first child, you begin to think twice about the issue.

These experiences have an impact on your view of reality and also on the value that you place on your own life.  When your beliefs carry you through that transition, then giving up smoking becomes much more likely! Your personal development plan template is all about that.

The Triple-Loop Cycle

There is a triple-loop personal development plan template (figure 1, below) that expresses the same idea in a different way:

The Doing Loop

Your outcomes -the things you do or achieve in life- result from the actions you’ve taken.

The personal development plan template shows you can improve your performance, and thus your outcomes, through practice.  Suppose you build brick barbecues.   Your second attempt will always turn out better and require less effort than the first.

Of course, building a better barbie doesn’t require any fundamental shift in your learning, and it doesn’t have a significant impact on the inner you!

The Thinking Loop

This part of the personal development plan template figure shows how you change the way you conceive, think about, or understand a problem:  “I don’t know about building a barbie, because every time we have a barbie it rains.

So…hmmm…I’ll build an extension to the porch that will be big enough to shield the barbie and keep us dry!”

In this loop, you have applied reasoning and motivation to create a new set of actions.

The Being Loop

At this step in your personal development plan template, you’ve made a leap in how you see yourself as a person, a change in who you are.

“I’ve built backyard barbies as a favor for many of my friends and relatives, and I’ve given advice to scores of others.  I’m tired of doing it for free.  I always wanted to be my own boss by the time I was 50.  I am going to make money from doing this…I’ll hire some workers to build barbies the way I teach them.  I’ll be the buyer and project manager.  The first step to my new job will be to get a team together to provide service for my new business!!”

In this third loop of the personal development plan template, your beliefs about you role in life has changed. And new beliefs drive new actions that result in you taking charge of your financial destiny.

The Experiential Learning Cycle

Next, study the personal development plan template below (figure 2), because it describes how adults learn.  As you use it, think of a past experience or situation that you wanted to learn from.

The stages in the reflective process are probably familiar to you.  If you’ve ever had help from a coach, a tutor, a mentor, even a boss or manager-anyone who’s a good listener-you’ve done this, and you’ll recognize each of these stages.

But real life is not so neat and tidy.  Whenever you go through a change cycle, you develop new insights that take you to-and-fro-instead of one neat progression; you jump to different places throughout the personal development plan template cycle.

This type of personal development plan template is often used to help people take a good look at a plan that they’ve taken action on, analyze its results, and revise the plan to make things better.

At the top of the diagram is the personal or professional concrete experience that motivated you to explore it.  Maybe it’s happened too often, or it results in time and energy being wasted…you’ll have your own reasons.

Next, you write down the events that led up to the event.  You explore how it unfolded.  And you might go back to the first step to gather additional information, to recall things you didn’t notice at the time.

Third, you theorize about why it happened.  You analyzed the string of events.  You can review how things unfolded by going back a step before you move on in the cycle.

Last, you consider what you can do to achieve a better future outcome.  Once again, you might need to jump back and forth to the different steps of this personal development plan template cycle in order to develop the plan that works best for you.

Reflective Learning Cycle

Look at the diagram below (figure 3) to understand the entire learning cycle more fully.

A concrete experience compels you to gather facts concerning the incident, and theorize why it happened.  It must be something that evokes your commitment to time and effort -something that will result in a significant payoff.

Reflect on how it made you feel, evaluate your behavior, and consider any consequences.  Replay the event in your mind, including what others said and how you felt about that.  Gather information so that you can formulate an abstract conceptualization, but don’t analyze, criticize, or judge yourself harshly.

Next in this personal development plan template comes the natural process of re-thinking and re-evaluating the string of events.  This is a very analytical step.  You are in a different emotional space by now, and with the new information from your previous efforts you can formulate a revised plan.

The fourth and last step is synthesis -you bring all your thoughts together into an action plan.  There is where you decide what you will do differently.

You also have to put your personal development plan template into effect -otherwise, it’s just an intellectual exercise- but you always have the option and capability to translate your insights into new actions, new plans, as needed.

Tips for Success

• Don’t force it; don’t rush things or view it under the microscope for too long. If you need to step away from it -take a walk or bake a cake- do it and then go back to it.

• Even more importantly, remember that the engine-room of the personal development plan template process is stage one -and the new awareness it brings. Mine that experience for details, and switch on your peripheral vision.

How to Not Want Things and Still Be Happy

Personal Improvement, Research & Reports

The Buddha once claimed that desire creates suffering. On the surface this seems to make sense. You feel pain when you don’t get what you want. The solution, in Buddhism, is to cease desiring things and therefore your suffering will end. Somehow, that doesn’t feel right.

Sure, desire may create pain, but doesn’t it also provide meaning to life? In trying to remove the pain, don’t you also erase the joy, leaving you with a dull, gray existence. In this article I’d like to explore a third alternative, and how you can still experience joy without clinging to things.

Why Be Without Desire?

Before I go off into the high mountaintops of philosophical inquiry, let’s look at the practical matters. What does being without desire for things mean and why might it seem like a good idea?

For this example, let’s say you crave to be rich. I’m using wealth as an example but it could be anything, a healthy body, great relationships, academic or career success. Your craving to be rich leads to a couple side-effects:

• Until you become rich, you are dissatisfied. Like a man starving for food, you will feel hungry until your desire is satiated.
• You might never become rich. This may seem pessimistic, but you can’t entirely reject the possibility that the wealth you seek may never come. You are forever hungry.
• Even if you do achieve great sums of money, the feeling of fullness won’t last. Either you will find a new goal to crave, or you will become bored with your accomplishment.

Here’s a simple diagram showing your level of satisfaction with your current situation:

Even in the best circumstances, feeling full only lasts a moment.

Enjoyable Craving

The common counter-argument to this is that craving can be enjoyable. Feeling desire strongly can be a good feeling. So it isn’t fair to say that the entire build-up to a goal is painful.

I disagree. Pure craving is pain. Few people starving for food would describe the feeling as enjoyable. Loneliness is rarely referred to as being fun. Feeling poor, restricted or lacking are all forms of pain. Hope that tomorrow might be a bit better is only a small relief for the pain of craving. The Buddha is right, desire is suffering.

Should You Just Give Up?

With such a depressing outlook on the human condition, does this mean I recommend giving up your goals, selling your clothes and living in a hut smoking whatever pleasure inducing drugs you can manage to afford? Of course not.

There’s a third alternative. The decision isn’t between craving and emptiness. The third option is what I’m going to call a process focus. When you have a process focus, from an objective standpoint you don’t appear much different, you still set goals, have challenges and learn from failures. The difference is that craving no longer creates the pain it once did and you are free to live happier without wanting more stuff.

A Focus on Process

The problem with craving is that it is incomplete. It places the entire emphasis on only one moment, the goal. In your desire to be rich, this means that the entire emphasis is placed on the moment you reach a particular income. Everything before is merely a lead-up to this moment, and everything after is simply a consequence of it.

The alternative is to emphasize the entire process. This means that the moment of achievement is no more or less important than the first step or two months in.

“Life is a journey, not a destination.” It’s a nice platitude, but I don’t think it captures the real impact of what I’m suggesting. Small snippets of wisdom like this feel nice, but rarely communicate anything important. “Be yourself,” is another piece of frequently-cited wisdom that has become essentially meaningless.

What a Process Focus Means

A process focus means that successes and failures are equal. This has a nice ring to it, but it’s a system few people follow. How often can you say that you feel just as good with a win as you do with a loss? Instead, most people operate from craving, where success means satisfaction and failures are pain.

A process focus treats any pursuit as you would a game. In a game, the act of playing is the real motivation, not the win. After a heated chess match, you are generally no better off now that you’ve won. The only reason to play was the process of playing.

When you approach an area of life from a process focus, you see the entire path, not the goal as the reason to start. Run a business because you love running a business, not just because of the status, wealth or service it might bring. Interest in the process is more important than the result of a goal.

Examples of a Process Focus

Now I’d like to climb down the philosophical mountain for a bit and deal with the day-to-day. What does a process focus look like? Here are a few examples, in them you can easily imagine the opposite of operating from desire:

John decides to start dating. Instead of making it his goal to get a girlfriend, sleep with a bunch of women or become a modern-day Casanova, he becomes interested in other people and how dating works. Rejections and failures don’t bother him, because he is driven by an interest in other people and the process, not curing loneliness, lust or validating himself.

Julie begins school. She makes it her goal to become a doctor, but doesn’t focus on it. Instead she focuses on the classes, becoming curious about the material and how she can apply it to her interests. She even writes down goals for her term marks and GPA, but these are just constraints to make the process more fun and challenging for her, whether she achieves them or not doesn’t diminish her interest in what is happening right now.

Patrick is overweight. He sets a goal to lose twenty pounds, but doesn’t obsess over it. He starts by trying out different forms of exercise, eventually settling on running as something he enjoys. He tries to beat his previous records and makes a game out of putting on his shorts and jogging out each morning. He meets his weight-loss goal in record time, but sees it as only a minor bonus to a process he loves.

Hopefully these can give a picture of what a process orientation looks like from the inside-out. These are people who effortlessly achieve their goals. Not because they never challenge themselves, but simply because they don’t crave. They don’t want things, but are still happy because they engage themselves in the process.

Be Ambitious With Goals, Not Deadlines

Personal Improvement, Research & Reports

Every once in awhile I get an email from someone who is starting a new blog. This person is enthusiastic to get started and is hoping to become the next Darren Rowse or Steve Pavlina. In sending a few emails back and forth, however, I find that almost everyone underestimates how long it will take.

Typically I hear expectations that they will be cashing big paychecks in six months. I think I made less than $50 in my sixth month. Don’t get me wrong, ambition is good. If I didn’t have big ambitions I wouldn’t have started this website to begin with. But I think it can be dangerous to be ambitious with the deadline.

If You Want to Know How Long, Ask an Expert

I’ve always found that if you want to know how long something will take, ask someone who has already done it. Sounds obvious, but few people do it. When you’re motivated, it’s easy to think that somehow you can beat the odds and compress the years of work from someone else into a few months.

Setting unrealistic deadlines is a recipe for stress. If you quit your job with the expectation that you can become a professional blogger in three months, you’ll probably be living on the street. Motivation is good. Blind overconfidence isn’t.

When I first got interested in the idea of owning my own online business, I was told that the average time it took to become financially independent was 3-5 years. At the time, this seemed ridiculously long. Clearly, I, with all my motivation and ideas could do it in less time.

I’ve been running this website for 2 years and it seems to be right on schedule with that initial 3-5 year timeline.

Be Ambitious With Your Goals, Patient With Your Deadlines

One of my biggest mistakes I made a few years ago was to get frustrated when things wouldn’t manifest as quickly as I’d like. I’d be working incredibly hard, and few results would come. So, I’d work even harder and results would still trickle in. I’d burn myself out trying to speed up a timeline that already had it’s own pace.

I realized that my mistake was that I was trying to run a marathon as if it were a sprint. When you run a marathon, you need the motivation to get started and go the distance. But you need to have the patience to not burn yourself out early on. Sprinters won’t last three miles, never mind the full twenty-six.

Ask the People that Come Before You

When I used to do software projects, I frequently heard the mantra, “Figure out how much time the project will take in the worst conditions. Now double that. That is your expected finishing time.” The experts had the battle scars that come with trying to accelerate projects that needed more time.

My new rule for setting goals is to find someone who has accomplished what I want to do (or something similar). Then, I try to ask them to give me an estimate of how long it will take. That number will be far more accurate than any estimate I can make up.

The Path is Long, Learn to Enjoy It

If you can’t enjoy the process leading up to a goal, it probably isn’t worth starting. The time spent enjoying a win is far shorter than the work leading up to it. If reaching the end is your only motivation to keep going, you probably won’t make it very far.

I enjoy writing. I enjoy going to the gym. I enjoy taking classes in school. I enjoy reading. If I don’t enjoy something intrinsically, I can’t push through more than a few weeks. I’m sure I’m not alone in this case.

If you want to reach a goal, ask an expert. If they tell you 2, 4 or 10 years, ask yourself whether you can enjoy doing something for that long. Don’t just reject the number because you feel you can do it faster. Find a way to enjoy it for that entire time, because it’s the most realistic estimate you’re going to get.