Personal Improvement
If you had a choice between being happy or not which one would it be?
I am sure you’re saying to yourself “Hey! That sure is a silly thing to ask”. I do however think it’s a valid question, so I hope you’ll take a second to ponder it. If I had to guess I would say the answer is to be happy (in the remote possibility that I am wrong I do hope that you’ll humor me on this). Here’s where I am going to run the chance of reaching some disagreement. You see, I do believe that we have this choice. Now I certainly don’t mean that if it’s going to take you being a millionaire to make you happy that it’s necessarily going to happen for you (of course that is a whole other topic all together). What I am talking about here is the overall approach we take to our day. You see friend, much in the same way that one negative thing might have a snowballing effect on our day and make it ultimately appear as a “bad day” so can positive things happen (daily successes) to us, and before we know it we look back on our day and say, “this sure was a great day!” Here are a few tips that I use to “force the positives” in my life. I know they work for me and I feel confident that if you implement them in your life that you’ll have equal or better results. Besides even in a worst-case scenario where it doesn’t work for you at least you will have tried right?
First off I keep several books near my bed (sometimes I have so many books going I forget what to read next…lol). The books I choose to read are motivational or inspirational one’s. I don’t have a whole lot of disposable time so when I do, I like to know that I am doing something that will advance me in some way. When I am in the car I try to split my time between listening to the radio as well as listening to a motivational tape. You know like a recorded seminar or audio books, etc.
Sometimes I will listen to the same tape several times. You’d be surprised by how reviewing you’ll pick up things that you didn’t catch the first time around. Another thing that I do that is a big help for me is to stay in contact with people that are positive (my mentors). When I feel that I need a little boost I shoot off a quick e-mail or just drop by for a quick visit. You see my friend; these are not great insights, rather just simple steps that we can take to boost our positivity level.
However, I have found them to be extremely helpful in my quest to “choose happiness”.
“Goals that are not written down are just wishes.” — Unknown
I still remember the first time I heard the above quote about goals.
You see at the time as I recall I had a lot of big plans, things I wanted to see transform into reality in my life. Looking back I now realize that my problem was that I had the vehicle (my ideas) but I was missing my road map! (The written goals for achieving them).
You see my problem at the time wasn’t my lack of ambition or my belief that I could make it happen. Rather it was that in my effort to achieve I was simply “all over the place” in my efforts. When I began to do simple things like commit my goals to paper (actually I use a software solution myself) things began to come together more easily.
It was as if there was a puzzle that someone had taken the time to mark where each piece went for me in advance. I hope this message finds you well.
Personal Improvement
We each have within an incredible gift that we can share with our fellow human beings. It’s not some magical thing. Yet it is equally as powerful! It’s our ability to share our smile!
A smile when given at the right moment can literally lift the frown of another. Think about this for a second. It’s one of life’s mysteries that no one can resist that urge to smile back.
I recall one particular instance that I was in a meeting with several business people that were older in years than me. It was as if years of being in business for themselves had hardened them in some way.
I was there (as many before me had been I am sure) to show my product. The leader of the meeting quickly said “well, Mr. Ali, (in an almost smug sounding voice..lol) why should we choose your product” as he was shifting papers on his desk. Friend, I looked him squarely in the eye and smiled a big smile and simply waited (it seemed like hours passed..lol). Then suddenly beneath his hard shell emerged a half smile!
I said. “Mr. so and so, no doubt you have had many proposals and all are surely good products, but here’s what I have to offer”. How the rest of the meeting went is really not the issue, what is important is that we understand that we have to get people that we talk with to view us as a human being (and not just another person with a product). Sharing the gift of our smile is one of the surest ways I know to do that :-)
Personal Improvement
Happiness is the ultimate end and purpose of human existence. – Aristotle
We say “Happy New Year” or “Happy Birthday” or “Happy Anniversary.” Now all of these expressions refer to the pleasant feelings — the joys or satisfactions which we may have at one moment and not at another. In this meaning of the word, it is quite possible for us to feel happy at one moment and not at the next. This is not Aristotle’s meaning of the word. Nor, when you think about it for a moment, can it be the meaning of the word in the Declaration of
Independence. Thomas Jefferson and other signers of the Declaration had read Aristotle and
Plato. This was part of their education.
It seems that our unique function is to reason: by reasoning things out we attain our ends, solve our problems, and hence live a life that is qualitatively different in kind from plants or animals. The good for a human is different from the good for an animal because we have different capacities or potentialities. We have a rational capacity and the exercising of this capacity is thus the perfecting of our natures as human beings. For this reason, pleasure alone cannot constitute human happiness, for pleasure is what animals seek and human beings have higher capacities than animals. The goal is not to annihilate our physical urges, however, but rather to channel them in ways that are appropriate to our natures as rational animals.
Thus Aristotle gives us his definition of happiness:
…the function of man is to live a certain kind of life, and this activity implies a rational principle, and the function of a good man is the good and noble performance of these, and if any action is well performed it is performed in accord with the appropriate excellence: if this is the case, then happiness turns out to be an activity of the soul in accordance with virtue.
According to Aristotle, happiness consists in achieving, through the course of a whole lifetime all the goods — health,
wealth, knowledge, friends, etc., that lead to the perfection of human nature and to the enrichment of human life. This requires us to make choices, some of which may be very difficult. Often the lesser good promises immediate pleasure and is more tempting, while the greater good is painful and requires some sort of sacrifice. For example, it may be easier and more enjoyable to spend the night watching television, but you know that you will be better off if you spend it researching for your term paper. Developing a good character requires a strong effort of will to do the right thing, even in difficult situations.
He is happy who lives in accordance with complete virtue and is sufficiently equipped with external goods, not for some chance period but throughout a complete life.
Life is simple but we keep on making it complicated. My new year’s resolution is simple. I will be better than last year, I will be better than I was ever before. I will make my whole past life count this year and for the each coming year I live. Because for me there can be no happiness other than getting better and improving myself.
Have a nice, blessed and happy year ahead…
Personal Improvement
How do you define a successful life? Is it by how much money or stuff you have amassed, or is it by the legacy you leave behind? All too often we equate a successful life with material possessions. Yet, there are millions of people out there who lead successful, fulfilled lives who may be of modest means. They may not be rich in the financial sense, but they are rich in life and values.
So what are the things we should strive for to make our lives successful and have a positive impact on those around us? Here is a list of traits that I think defines what true success in life is all about. Does your list differ?
- Sincerity. Be sincere in your actions. Don’t try to deceive or impress others. Be yourself, and do what you feel is right based on your values and beliefs. You will be surprised at how people accept you when you stop trying to be someone you aren’t.
- Unfeigned. Be genuine in what you do; your actions speak louder than your words. Don’t falsify or embellish events that may have happened. Don’t say one thing and do the other.
- Wholehearted. Be enthusiastic about what you do. Show it. Be committed to life and everything that you set out to accomplish in life. Devote yourself to your family, friends, and community and commit yourself to being the best father, husband, wife, mother, friend, and neighbor you can be.
- Honest. Be honest in your dealings with yourself and with others. When others interact with you, let them see someone who is reputable, respectable and genuine. Do what you say you will do and never use fraud or deception to get ahead in life. Let ethics, morals, and honor be your compass.
- Heartfelt. When you do something for someone, or they do something for you, let your thanks and emotion be openly and outwardly expressed towards them.
- Hearty. Be someone who displays an honest, warm, and exuberant personality to those around them. Let your feelings show and let them be genuine when they do.
- Humility. Don’t lead a life thinking you are better than others or are superior to those around you. Modesty and humbleness will leave a far more ever lasting impact on people than trying to show off.
- Personal integrity. Always follow your heartfelt values, and never let a situation or anyone steer you away from doing what you know is right. Be someone that people can look up to and respect and not someone who trades his or her moral values for material gains in life.
- Incorruptibility. Let it be known that you stand firm for what you believe in and that your morals, values and actions are not for sale. Don’t let outside forces corrupt the person you are.
- Sound. Show good judgment and sense in life. Don’t let prejudices or emotions cloud your judgment.
- Whole. Be focused on what you want to achieve in life. Give everyone you interact with your complete and undivided attention.
- Courtesy. Practice good manners even though others around you may not.
- Civility. Graciousness and respect go a long way in life. What is more, they are viral – when people see you doing it they are more apt to practice civility themselves. Be kind to others and extend courtesy towards them. Don’t interrupt people when they speak and don’t dominate the conversation.
- Wisdom. Gain from the wisdom that is inside you. Understand the inner qualities of people and learn how to understand situations that might be different than we are used to.
- Charity. Practice kind, gentle, and compassionate treatment of others – especially those who may be undeserving. Learn to extend a hand to help others, even though they themselves may not have helped you.
- Empathy. Be aware that each person is different and may have different values and beliefs than those that you hold. Be understanding of the feelings and thoughts of others without having to be told or reminded of them.
- Sympathy. Share your feelings with others and understand the emotional situations that people go through. Put yourself in their shoes.
- Compassion. When someone is in distress, reach out with a genuine interest in helping alleviate their suffering.
- Altruism. Think of others without thinking of yourself. Do good things for people without expecting something in return for yourself.
- Magnanimous. Be generous in life. Give of your time, money and wisdom. Share with others so they can see the true joy and adventures of life themselves.
There are the qualities I think helps lead a person to life a successful life. Clearly everyone’s views will differ, as they should. What are some qualities that you think define success in life?
